So this morning, we went to a different church for mass. It was a bizarre mass in general...it was much more "high church" than the places we normally go, also the people were much wealthier than our normal crowd. The choir was really good too, and sang in harmony. I found myself not wanting to put money in the collection there because I wanted to save it to put into the basket at our poorer neighborhood church. The homily struck me though... The blind man wanted to see...more than just physically and so Jesus gave that to him. "Jesus, Son of David, have pity on me!" Jesus responds to him, but only because Bartimaeus first wanted and asked for the insight that he lacked. The priest described how our God doesn't force us into anything. If the lives that we live are sinful and we want our lives to be that way, God does not force us to change our ways. God works with us to change in the ways we want to change for the better. This week, I have thought a lot about what it would mean for me to be a sister, and it has kinda been haunting me because I have a strong desire to be a mom and wife someday too. The homily helped me to understand better that it's okay for me not to know right now which of these vocations (of marriage or of vowed religious life) is going to fit me best. God will not force me to choose one or the other. If God puts the right man in my life, I trust that that will be the way that I can grow individually, with him, and with God the most effectively. If the man that can allow me to keep growing in the right ways does not come into my life, I am okay with that too. Living as an ordained religious is very appealing for many reasons. I see how I would be able to live abroad and love and care about others in a way similar to how I'm living right now, among poor people. I feel very close to Christ when I am around people with few possessions. I am learning more and more what it means that Jesus loved us even enough to die for us. I'm going to back up to last Saturday and go through the week because it was a very interesting and tiring week.

My interactions with Hermana Mica (Sister of the Holy Cross) and the Saint Mary's Crew were amazing. SMC arrived in Monterrey Saturday when I was at a celebration for the day of the doctors with the director of our clinic (the 4 of us missionaries all went). They had a buffet with baby goat, and all kinds of traditional and fancy mexican foods and lots of beverages...we were there all afternoon and all crashed when we got home at 9:30pm. Kame (Dr. Granados' 22 year old son) offered to take Mike and me out to the bars with his friends and him, but I couldn't stay awake for the life of me. So we went to sleep early, and the next morning, I called Mica's house. The girls were going to mass with another Sister, and so Mica told me to be there about 1pm to meet youth at the parish, go to lunch with them, and participate in a young women's group. So Mike and I took the bus to mass at San Rafael (the church that's 2 blocks away from the clinic where we work.) We saw many of the people who have been working with us from the parish on our hospice project. We visited the clinic and walked around the neighborhood a bit, browsed in the market, and visited with a few people that we know from the area. I felt really good about being present there on our free time. I think it's really important for trust-building that we are around that area more than just 9-5 Monday through Friday. Also, I love being there. All week people kept coming up to us saying that they saw us at mass...we kinda stick out since we are white and tall compared to everyone else in the church.

After mass, I took the metro to Guadalupe all by myself. I asked directions and found the church that the SMC girls were at. It was SO great to see them and to meet the new Music Ministry Sister. Also, I was so excited to see Esperanza and Areli. These 2 women were living with Mica discerning whether to be Sisters 3 years ago when I visited. Now they are learning intensive english so they can go to the novitiate which is now at Saint Mary's. I can't get enough of them...! Mallory brought a bag of stuff from home for me that my mom and Cesar each contributed to....art supplies, chocolate, blank cards, some clothes, my student id so I can get discount fare for the bus. So exciting! I spent the day with SMC until like 9pm when I had to go home... The "club de amigas" is a group for women older than 18 that get together at 5pm every other Sunday and talk about different themes. I loved the group and I would like to be part of it. One of the girls kept joking that I have "the face" to be a Sister of the Holy Cross. I liked it, and it got me to start thinking about it again. Sor Beatriz called me when I was waiting for the metro and she was surprised that I was alone. I was totally fine and safe, but she was very worried and doesn’t want us to be out alone at night....Here I had had the experience that I desperately needed to do something on my own, and I was being reprimanded for it....that was hard. I understand her concerns and I am very conscious of safety. It's just that I was safe and really happy.

Monday we had Sr. Tere Maya and Sr. Rosaleen Harold (both Sisters of the Incarnate Word) from the general council that were visiting the Monterrey mission to see how all the Sisters and missionaries were doing. They are wonderful sisters. Tere Maya is the sister that Mike calls Sister Badass because she says things how they are and she is insightful. We ended up discussing the community situation with them, as well as the situation with our job and house, pretty much they just wanted to hear all the truth. We ended up getting out a lot of concerns about the community and it was really good... they think we need to build a foundation with trust within our group before we can do an effective job at the clinic...and that we can be more creative in our community outreach. Tere Maya gave me permission to not have to act like I'm 50 to fit into the community. She said...you can be 50 when you actually are, but for now, just enjoy being yourself, and be creative with your gifts...God, I needed to hear that she actually understood how hard this has been for us. They said that they will give us some sort of answer to how they can support us by the 27th of October, before Linda leaves for San Antonio for her doctor’s appointments. We might have a retreat facilitated by one of the other Sisters in order to facilitate trust-building, etc, or something else....I was filled with hope, and things have actually gotten better within us since that. Linda and Paula have asked more questions about things that Mike and I do, and seem to be trying pretty hard. That night, Mike, Paula and I made cards for the missionaries in Peru with my new art supplies. Sr. Rosaleen told us that she is going to Peru next so she would be happy to deliver them.

Tuesday we met with two groups from San Rafael the Legion de Maria and the group of women who bring Communion to homebound people to do our first round of home visits. It was wonderful. Then, in the afternoon, Laura Vega (social worker) and I sold a bunch of waffles as a fundraiser for the clinic. That was pretty sweet.

Wednesday, we met with the Legion de Maria and Eucharistic Ministers again to talk about the visits from the day before. It was really long, but good. Then, Mike and I went downtown to try to meet up with the SMC girls. I had one digit wrong for Hermana Mica's cell phone though so we ended up just spending lots of time exploring. I bought some handmade jewelry, we ate at a chinese buffet, and Mike got his hair cut by a really flaming man...it was a good day.

Thursday we had a normal morning, an afternoon meeting with the Legion de Maria from San Marcos chapel. We prayed the rosary with them and got some names and addresses of sick people that they know. Then, Mike and I went to Guadalupe to see SMC. We arrived a little late for mass, but it was still good. We had spaghetti with the crew and ended up getting home about midnight. It takes a good hour- hour and a half each way. It was worth it, but was really tired.

Friday was the day of the doctors. We stopped in to the Clinic Fomerrey 109 on the way to work to greet the staff that works there like we do sometimes. My friend Dr. Julio was there. He had just finished 5 days in a row of working the night shift at our clinic. It had been like a month since we had seen each other. He gave me his phone number because I still don't have ours memorized. We are going to try to do something fun together this week. I really want to get to know him better. He gets me. Also, Mike is great and all, but I need friends other than him. For lunch, we had a potluck where everyone brought a different ingredient for tostadas. We brought lots of cheese. We had some really delightful mango cake for the doctors too. After work, Laura, Mike, and I went to an expo where there were lots of different booths from Latin American countries. I bought some more handmade jewelry and got a chain for my Incarnate Word cross. It was in the South of the city where we hadn't been before. It was very fun, and we came home and crashed.

Saturday, we slept in till about 9am, I swept and scrubbed the bathroom, my bedroom, and the steps. I picked up my room a lot, pounded nails into the wall to hang up my painting that I got from the clinic like a month ago. It was wonderful to have a relaxing day to catch up. Reuben, who is the maintenance man invited us to his house for supper. So Mike and I walked about an hour to his house. They served us gringas de trompo and de bistec (tacos with pork and with beef), and another type of tacos de bistec and mole and rice and beer. It was a ton of food and with beer, I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to eat for a week. Reuben’s 2 kids were sweet (10 and 16 yrs old). The 10 year old showed us her jewelry that she makes, played dominoes with us, showed us a movie of her brother’s graduation from primary school, etc. Reuben and his wife sell food from their house Thursday through Sunday in addition to Reuben’s 6 days that he works at the clinic. It was really good to be there with his family, but the walk home with overfull bellies was more than unpleasant. We came home, drank a lot of water, and crashed.
I slept until 10:30am (thank goodness we gained an hour last night), and then had a grapefruit, and the 4 of us went to mass with the Sisters. I shaved my legs this afternoon and realized that I am whiter than I have been in a long time. Today it's sunny, but it's still pretty socially inappropriate to wear shorts here.

We have home phone and Mike and I share a cell phone, so if you'd like either of these numbers, let me know. I uploaded more pictures, so check out the link to see more if you'd like. I'm sorry that it's been so long since I've written. I appreciate all the prayers. Love, Andrea