I forgot to mention that as of October 24th, we have been in Monterrey for 2 months. It has not been easy, but I am getting glimpses more often that we are progressing.

Last night, we had our first "community prayer night" at the Sister's house in their chapel. Mike picked a portion of the encyclical of Pope Benedict from June. It was an opportunity to reflect on experiences that each of us have had feeling isolated from others, and also times when we have shared faith with others who are important to us. We reflected on what we would like to bring to this community from the good experiences we have had with others in our lives. Also, what is preventing us from sharing ourselves with each other as much as we would like to. I felt good about it overall, and waz filled with GOZO or JOY. Mike and I read Lisa (missionary in Mexico City)'s blog and we had a lot of fun hearing about her experiences. We watched "the cruel truth" and I stayed up too late putsing around.

I got up this morning feeling tired, but I was determined to be happy. We got to the clinic where it was fun to greet the employees. Dr. Julio was there. He's my favorite doctor and it makes my day when he's still there when we get there in the morning because he works the night shift. Sor Beatriz told Mike and me to talk to patients in the waiting room of the clinic. We absolutely ahte doing this because it is so awkward to walk up to random people when they can't escape from us and our spanish...normally Sor suggests that we can go to to do this and we choose not to, but this morning, it was more like an order. So, we did it and it wasn't horrible, but it was hard for both of us. If we had something in particular to talk to them about (ie. clinic publicity with a brochure or something) it would be totally fine. Julio and I are going to get together on Wednesday to do something fun, so I'm looking forward to whatever that will be. Then, we had a meeting with the Legion de Maria of San Rafael where we dispersed to do more home visits. The other missionaries all went with the same Legionarion to visit the same patients as last Tuesday, but my person wasn't there, so I got to go with someone new to visit patients who hadn't been visited before by us. We visited 4 houses. In the last one, the man wasn't home, so we spent time with only 3, but it was so rewarding! The first stop was with a very sweet couple. The woman was diabetic and had a prosthetic leg. The husband collects cardboard and bottles to bring income, and he told me that his wife has never had to work because he takes care of her. They were both in their seventies, and had one of their sons and his family living with them.

In the second house, there was an 86 year old man who couldn't talk because he had cancer in his throat nor could he hear. So he stays at home a lot in a sort of depressed state all the time and sleeps all day. It was challenging because his daughter was talking to us, but she wasn't necessarily including him in the conversation because of his challenges in hearing and talking. I tried a few things with him to include him. I knelt down at his feet to touch them because he had bare feet and it was chilly outside today, so I thought they might be cold. They weren't, but when I held his foot, he rolled up his pantleg to show me how he has bandages on his knees where he puts ointment for pain and then applies bandages so the ointment doesn't soil his pants. I was kneeling at his feet holding his leg, and he smiled at me, and made some talking noises. Later, I sat next to him, touching his shoulder and I tried to tell him that my grandpas have both died and I would want him to be a grandpa figure to me. He couldn't hear me, and his daughter tried to tell him, but still he couldn't understand. He can't read, so although his eyes are good, I can't write something to communicate either. He held my hand and I couldn't help but think how he has so much that he would still be able to do with his hands, etc. I don't know how it started, but he showed me how he could stand, and we started doing exerices. I touched my shoulders, waist, and knees, and he did the same. It seemed as though he hadn't moved like this in a long time. We did several other exercies, and he would smile at me like he appreciated so much that I would be doing these things with him. I would love to visit him weekly and bring different activities that we could do together. I asked his daughter if he had any hobbies or anything he could do with his hands, but no. We could do different movements for a little while, and maybe he would be interested in drawing or playing dominoes or various activities. I really would like to serve him in this way. We said a prayer together and he stood again to pray with us. He gave me a big hug before we left, and I just had such a good feeling about how we could work together and enjoy each other's company. I was so excited that I forgot my purse at their house, so we had to go back for it.

The third visit was to see a woman who had a stroke about 5 years ago and her whole right side is paralyzed. As soon as we walked in, there was a strong odor of urine. She lives in a separate little room and although her son, daughter-in-law and their kids live nearby, it seems like she does not get the attention she needs. She changes her own diapers and although she was amazingly happy, I felt for her in the situation she's in. It was cold in the room, and she didn't have very warm of clothes on. She asked me how she looked to me, and I had to answer that she looked good, "con animo," and while it was true, I want more for her so much. She needs to be included in something.

On my walk back to the clinic, I passed the house of Lorenzo and his wife (I forget her name). Their house has a mixture of different kinds of chicken fense in the front and they have a big piece of plastic sign covering the roof to protect from the rain. They come to the grupo de la tercera edad where we go on Thursday mornings when we are at the clinic. Lorenzo cares for his wife who is in a wheelchair. They were robbed not too long ago, so he collects cardboard boxes and cans to sell for their income. They have invited us numerous times to their house for parties for people in their family or to just come eat with them. Linda and Paula had had supper with them on Friday, but we haven't all had a chance to see where they live before. Lorenzo showed me their house and the backyard which was full of plants, they had a hen, and a few little blue birds. Lorenzo offered that I could take a plant with me. I think he sells them. It was about 1pm by this time, so he offered that I could have lunch there too. They had bought some cornflakes, and they had eggs from the hen, so they offered those to me. He kept saying how he wants to invite us over for an asado (to grill meat). I continue to be humbled by the generosity of these people because this is obviously a very expensive invitation for people who live off a salary of selling cardboard boxes that others have put in the garbage. I felt so comfortable there with them.

I got back to the clinic and had lunch that I had packed...tortillas, mole, and refried beans. I spent a little time with Laura Vega who was obviously upset. She is trying to go to school full time for physical therapy while working full time as a social worker at the clinic...she just found out that tomorrow she has to be at her school from 8am-8pm without eating doing practicum. Also, she will work at the clinic Satuday from 9am-1pm and will have to return from 8pm-8am to get her hours in. She has class 4-5 days a week and works 6 days a week. She is such a wonderful woman and she has had such a hard life so far. I think I wrote about her before, but she is 32, has had cancer and was abused by her husband during her cancer treatments in Minnesota. She is still technically married, but left the US and now can't come back until her green card expires in 2011 because it was stolen, and lots of other details...She has so many good ideas, but feels like her creativity is cramped in the clinic. She had been working in Tampamolon for 5 years where she had an environment in which she could flourish. I really appreciate her, and I wish I could do more to help her have a better experience right now.

Today was Alejandro (one of the choffers)'s birthday, so we had a cake and sang to him. It was such a great day for me, but everyone else is really stressed out. Mike got chewed out by Sor for going with Alejandro to the main hospital to run an errand with him without asking her permission. Paula is supposed to translate a medical document by tomorrow for Dra. Granados, but she couldn't finish at the clinic today by the time that we were to leave and it didn't work to email it to herself...so now she is redoing the whole thing at the cyber cafe. Linda is stressed trying to get details ready for her trip to San Antonio. Sor Beatriz is feeling pressure to get all the kinks (and there are going to be major ones) ironed out for our project and she has other things bothering her. I just know that she and Sor Angeles seem very busy and stressed, and so that adds quite a bit of tension on top.

Tomorrow we have our final class of 3 on tanotologia (study of dying) at the main hospital downtown. We leave the house at 7:45am and have class until noon. After the other two classes, we have gotten to go home early, but tomorrow we are going to go to the clinic afterwards because the doctor might want to talk with us, but probably not. So we will probably end up just sitting there. I don't want to protest because the Sorrs are so stressed out, but I really don't like being at the clinic when there is not something particular that we are supposed to be doing there.

I talked with Tere Manon today on the phone, and I was positive with her, but we agreed on a couple things that need to change around here. First, we need to have separate projects so we are not all 4 together all the time. The gameplan is to find a balance between being at the clinic and being part of other projects. She emailed Mike and me a list of other service groups in Monterrey that we might be able to collaborate with. Second, we should not be in a 9-5 schedule for this type of work. We need more freedom to do our own things, but it is also necessary that we are gentle and gradual with these changes. It is wonderful that we do have such good relationships with the Sorrs, but we cannot be with the two of them all the time with them controlling every detail of how we live. I would like to work with more of the Sisters of the Incarnate Word who have different ministries here in Monterrey.

I have about 2 hours of reading in spanish about euthanasia in preparation for tomorrow's class, and I have to write up a diagnosis about the vists I made today and in what ways the clinic might be able to serve them yet tonight. Thank God we have a washing machine. It makes life a lot easier, especially when we have so many other things to worry about.

We are in a dance, trying out what will work, adjusting expectations, and being optimistic. God is with us through it all. Thanks for being part of this journey with me.